Goodbye!

So this is my last required blog post, and I know I said that I like blogging, but considering how busy I am right now this will probably be the last time you here from me.

Here is the thought that keeps cycling through my mind: I cannot believe how fast this semester has gone by.

I was looking forward to being done with school for a while, but I didn't see how close the end really was. This semester has been crazy hard, but I am going to miss it. Well I don’t know if “miss it” is the best way to describe my feelings... I think it is better to say that I am grateful for this semester because it has taught me a lot about myself. I learned what I wanted to do in school and I try to set plans for the future. I made the huge decision to go on a mission, and I cannot wait to serve the Lord (I submit my papers at the beginning of May!). This semester I have been blessed to have amazing individuals come into my life that have taught me so much, and I have also learned from relationships that I have lost. I know that things happen for a reason and that people come into our lives with a purpose.

I don’t know everything, not even close, but I know that I am stronger because of this year and what I have learned. I know that God has a purpose for me and I cannot wait to serve Him, not only on my mission, but throughout my life!

Running Update

A few weeks ago I set a goal to complete a marathon, so I thought I would give you an update. Now before you start being proud of me, I definitely haven’t done that yet… BUT I am getting back into the running game. That may not seem like a big deal, but it is for me because I am not a runner in any way, shape, or form. In fact I have not run since last year when I completed my half marathon in Moab, Utah. I haven’t been running because, honestly, I didn’t have a very good experience with my first half haha I “hit the wall” early on in the race, meaning that I ran out of physical and emotional stamina, and so I struggled to finish. After I finished and collapsed on the ground my grinning dad looked over at me and said “See Ani! Wasn’t that fun?” At that point I resolved to never run again because that wasn’t my idea of fun.

I was doing pretty well with my resolve, until... the “freshmen 15” started coming. Not running is nice, but the punishments to your body from not running are no fun at all. So that’s why I’ve made it my goal to start running again. I officially made my father sign up for the “Top of Utah” half marathon with me so I have something to work towards. Runners, here I come!

Brother Kipischke

Brother Kipischke’s (again, not sure on the spelling) talk on how to be accepted of the Lord was inspirational. He started out by telling the congregation about his father. He said that no matter what happened or how mad his dad got, he always knew that his dad loved him. He talked about how this feeling of love and acceptance is essential for human beings and how we often try to fulfill that need in earthly ways. He continued to say that the only way to truly feel this acceptance is to know that our Heavenly Father and brother, Jesus Christ, love us. Brother Kipischke testified that Heavenly Father and Christ love us because of our hearts. They love us for what we are and for what we are trying to become, and they are therefore the only people to whom we should seek acceptance.

These are the notes I tool on how Brother Kipischke said we can know we are accepted:

1.                          Know that are hearts are honest and broken through honest self-reflection. When the Savior knocks, we hear that knock on our heart, and we open.

2.                          Know that are spirits are contrite. It is shown by our willingness and humble to act. We are willing to pray “Not my will, but Thine be done”.

3.                          Observe our covenants through sacrifice. Having the Holy Ghost is our constant companion is the ultimate manifestation of our acceptance by Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. 

Brother Fallabella

Brother Fallabella (I think that is how you spell his name) gave a beautiful talk about strengthening marriage. Since I am not married and do not plan to be for a little while, I chose to focus on how his advice can apply to the relationships in my life currently. My favorite line from Brother Fallabella’s talk was when he said that “It takes two people to contend, and I will never be one of them.” That is such a powerful commitment, and one I hope to be able to keep some day.

“Contention is of the devil.” If your family was anything like mine this is something you probably heard frequently while growing up. And yes it is true, but sometimes it is so hard! I know how difficult it can be to “be the bigger person” or to choose to forgive, but I also know that is what we are supposed to do. I am trying to honor Brother Fallabella’s commitment, because I know that when I let contention and anger rule my life I am miserable. Forgiving those who have offended you is so liberating and it allows you to feel the spirit more freely. I know that choosing to be kind is always better, because that is what Christ did. 

Elder Oaks

Elder Oaks gave a great talk on being a dedicated disciple of Christ. My favorite line was when he said “following Christ is not a casual commitment. It is something that we do at all times, in all things, and in all places.” Isn’t that amazing? I think that sometimes we view the Gospel as one section of our life, that has a time and a place to be thought about and acted upon, which simply is not true. The Gospel is not a section of our lives; it is what defines our lives.

That is what I believe at least. I am not saying that every moment of everyday my life is dedicated to the Gospel, because I am imperfect and so I slip up a lot.  I am saying, however, that the Gospel helps me define my life. The Gospel helps me understand my life by teaching me why things happen to me and why certain people come into my life. Most importantly the Gospel tells me who I should become and gives me hope about what my future holds when I follow the commandments of the Lord. Elder oaks emphasized the importance of following the commandments when he said that “Christ’s teachings were never supposed to be theoretical; they were always supposed to be acted on.” I loved this section of his talk because it shows that action is key; in order to become a disciple of Christ we have to be willing to do what He asks of us.

Elder Holland

Let’s be honest, Elder Holland is amazing. I know we are not supposed to pick favorites speakers and I love every talk in General Conference because it is inspired, but I can’t help love the power with which Elder Holland speaks. He is a powerhouse. When he testifies he is bold and never backs down, and his fearless example is very important to me.

This conference Elder Holland gave a great talk about the power of believing. For me, the most powerful thing he talked about was being grateful for our belief instead of being ashamed that we don’t know. Elder Holland said “Never apologize for just believing”; belief leads to knowledge and it shows that you are trying. This was very assuring to me because I often feel inadequate in my gospel knowledge surrounded by so many great church members here at BYU. Elder Holland helped me realize that I don’t have to know everything yet, but as long as I believe and strive to do what the Lord desires I can be blessed.

Another important lesson I learned from Elder Holland’s talk is that you should not focus solely on your disbelief.  When you pray it is important to come to God with your questions, but you must not forget what you have already been blessed with—belief. Elder Holland testified that we have more faith than we think we do; we should not be so hard on ourselves when we don’t have a perfect knowledge yet because the point of this life is to learn.

President Monson

(For extra credit)

President Monson also talked about the importance of obedience, and his was one of my favorite talks from the entire conference. I especially loved his example of him setting a field on fire when he was just eight years old. He said that he was not allowed to use matches, but he knew where they were and so he did it anyway. He thought for some reason that the fire would stop once it had done its intended duty of burning a small section of weeds. Unfortunately it did not and soon the entire field was ablaze and he and his friend were forced to run for help. These are some of the parallels I drew from that story:

“We were not allowed to use matches, but I knew where they were kept”— there are rules in place to protect us. Those rules are the commandments, and obedience to them brings spiritual protection.

“I recall thinking that the fire would only burn as far as we wanted, and then magically stop” — People think that they can simply “stop” in deep sin. Far too often we try to get as close to the edge as possible and set the “line” which we will not cross at the absolute last point of safety. Instead we should draw the line which we will not cross before the first sign of transgression; draw the line before the danger starts. Stay as far away from danger as possible. We should not push the limits and do things we know will lead to greater sin.

“We realized there was nothing we could do to stop it, we had to run for help” — when you do fall into transgression, you cannot stop the “fire,” or sin, by yourself. You must go to God for help, through taking advantage of the Atonement. For serious sins we must run to our Bishop for help

Elder Perry

(For extra credit)

During this conference I noticed that there was a larger emphasis on complete obedience to God’s commandments, and I thought that L. Tom Perry had a very good thought when it comes to being obedient. Elder Perry said that obedience to God’s laws brings liberty. Sometimes we think of the commandments as something overbearing, as rules that are forced upon us, but that is not the case at all. God has given us the commandments to keep us from Satan and the binding chains of sins. In this sense we are experiencing liberty from the bonds of misery that we may otherwise fall into. Perry also stated that “none of us should underestimate how determined Satan is to succeed.” From this I took that we should never think we are safe enough from Satan to stop doing what we are commanded to do. We should always strive to keep the protection that comes from keeping the commandments, because God wants to protect us so badly. We are free to choose for ourselves whether or not we will allow God to protect us, because God cannot and will not force anything upon his children. I know that each commandment is in place for a reason, and that following them will bring blessings. 

Brother Clayton

(For make-up)

Brother Whitney Clayton’s lesson on marriage was wonderful. He opened with a story of his granddaughter telling him to “watch and learn” and then proceeded to tell us how we can “watch and learn” what a successful marriage is. Brother Clayton listed five characteristic of a successful marriage:

1. TREASURE. Both the husband and wife must see their marriage as a treasure. They realize no other relationship can produce the happiness that is found in eternal marriage.
2. FAITH. Successful marriages are built on faith in the Lord. Faith to Obey the commandments brings blessings into your marriage. And the commandments are not a buffet so you cannot pick and choose what to follow. You have to be completely obedient.
3. REPENTANCE. Each spouse should regularly conduct self-examinations and be willing to change. Humility is required for that change and is the essence of repentance. Repentance answers softly, not with vindication. As we approach God in humility He will help us undergo a mighty change of heart.
4. RESPECT. You are equal partners and should share responsibilities in the home. Family time needs to become the center of your day. When you respect your spouse that brings TRANSPARENCY. Transparency means that there should be no lies between husband and wife, which includes equal opportunities in family decisions.
5. LOVE. The scriptures say that “Thou shalt love thy wife… and cleave unto no one else.” Marriage should be your first priority, do not let any mortal things or anyone distract you from the covenant and blessings of marriage. You must love your spouse because “Where love is, there God is also” and God will strengthen your marriage.

Elder Anderson

(For make up)

The thing that I loved the most about Elder Anderson’s talk was that he testified that faith overcomes all doubt. This was a great message for me to hear because my first year of college has housed a lot of doubts. There are so many decisions to make! What should my major be? How do I want to live? Who should I date and spend time with? Should I go on a mission? All of these questions have been floating around my mind and it has been slightly overwhelming. In relation to the last question Elder Anderson said that faith has overcome individuals’ doubts to go on missions earlier in life. I know that this is the case for me. I never really planned on going on a mission until the age change, and even then it took a while for me to decide for myself. But I know that when I prayed I was given the faith that I needed to overcome my doubts of serving. There are 58 new missions and 65,000 missionaries, and the numbers are only going to keep growing. I am so excited to serve a mission and join this army of righteous young men and women! 

President Uchtdorf

(For make-up points)

I am going to take a break from my normal bucket list items and talk a little about what I have learned from listening to this wonderful session of general conference. I was not able to watch conference on Saturday because I was working, so I will only be writing about Sunday’s talks. I will probably talk about the Saturday session after I watch all of the talks online (That is the beauty of technology).

Anyway, the first talk I wanted to share my thoughts on was Elder Uchtdorf’s talk about the light of Christ. Uchtdorf said that “Darkness exists, but we can choose not to dwell there.” There are always things that are going to be going wrong in the world and in our own personal lives, but as we rely on Christ we can make it through the darkness of sin and trial. The light of Christ gives us the hope to make it through anything. Elder Uchtdorf suggests that to bring the light of Christ into our lives we must first start from where we are. It does not matter how far behind you think you are because belief brings blessings, and as we turn to Heavenly Father in prayer, he will help us to grow. I know that we can receive the light of Christ into our lives more and more every day, and as we do we can be blessed with happiness and clarity.

Scripture Mastery

When I originally started here at BYU in the fall the combination of education and the Gospel was something I had to adjust to. Growing up I always heard “keep church and state separate”, so coming to a private university that openly discusses the gospel of the LDS church was amazing and shocking all at once.  Now that I have adjusted though, I believe that incorporating the Gospel into my education has been a great and powerful blessing in my life.

I think the greatest blessing has been my religion classes. Again, it was a major change from the relaxed seminary atmosphere I had experienced in high school, and I was discouraged when I didn’t know the scriptures as well as other students did. Yet after I fully dedicated myself to learning new things about the scriptures there hasn’t been a day when I haven’t learned something new. I am grateful for my current professor, Brother Largey, because he exemplifies a love for the scriptures that I have not seen from anyone else before. He can probably quote half of the Book of Mormon word for word, it’s insane. I have a goal to become a scripture expert like him someday, and I am so happy I have religion classes to push me to learn! 

Learn to Play the Guitar

I am not a very musical person, except for jamming out in the car with my radio, but I’ve always wanted to learn to play the guitar. I know it’s not exactly a unique bucket list item, but I think it would be a great skill to have. I would love to be the person that everyone took camping just so we could all sing and hang out around the campfire while I played the guitar. Some of the best camping trips I’ve ever had have involved a good guitar session around the campfire.

Besides singing along to the radio I have played the cello for 6 years, so my guitar dream isn’t completely unfeasible. I mean I can read music and my fingers have already been toughened by the think strings of the cello. I would also like to say that I’m not completely tone deaf and that I can keep a steady beat, so I hope that would help. I may not ever become an expert on the guitar, or even decent for that matter haha But if I do nothing else, I at least want to learn one song on the guitar. And I will learn it so well that people might think I am good at guitar. 

TV Free

I think we can all agree that Netflix is awesome, and also that it is horribly addictive. You find me a good TV series on Netflix and somehow all my time goes down the drain without me even realizing it. For example the other day I planned on watching one episode of Dr. Who (my latest Netflix series) after a long night at work, and then four hours later I figured that it was probably time to go to bed. Netflix is like popcorn or candy: you can never just have one piece of candy and you can never watch only one episode!

Before I die, I would like to go at least one year without watching TV… and yes that means no Netflix too. I lose so much of my time to Facebook, Netflix, “I waste so Much Time” (At least they are honest with their name haha), etc., that I think getting rid of just one form of media would be extremely beneficial. Mainly, I think it would be amazing to see how much I could get done without all these distractions. I’d probably find some other meaningless activity for relaxation, but it would help a little at least. 

English Symposium

At the English Symposium on Friday I decided to go to the panel on Creative Nonfiction to fill my hour requirement, and I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised. It’s not that I didn’t think that the pieces would be good, because I thought they would be amazing (which they were). But I also thought that their writing would be over my head, or that it would be something that only experienced writers could fully appreciate. So I was surprised when I really felt what the writers were talking about. I haven’t had the exact same experiences as the writers but I could relate, because they talked about feelings and emotions that I think everyone has experienced in one form or the other.

I was especially impressed by my teacher’s essay. She talked a lot about regret and the pain of losing someone close to you, which I can really relate to. I think I was specifically impressed by her story because it introduced to me a person I hadn’t met before. When she talked she was not my teacher anymore, but a woman who has had experiences and emotions that I could relate to. What I loved most was her ability to perfectly describe an instant. She was able to describe what it feels like to be sitting next to someone you love, and those moments when pain overwhelms you. I felt like I was there, feeling what she felt while also remembering my own experiences. I didn’t know that was possible.

 I am not the best at writing; in fact, I even have a hard time just saying what I feel most of the time. I am glad I went to this symposium because it taught me that your writing can be an outlet, can build a deep connection with your audience, and that it can perfectly preserve moments and memories. I learned that through your writing you can share with people who you really are, and I think that is amazing!

Hi my name is Anika, and I am a sugar addict

I have realized that I have somewhat of what I call a “sweets problem.” Today I had cupcakes and ice cream, the day before I had cookies and milk, the day before that I had cookie dough… I think you can see where this is going haha. I can’t remember a day that I didn’t have at least a little something sugary. To make it worse my roommates also love to cook, so there is always something good lying around. It’s a serious problem. Last year my family was supposed to be having “Healthy 2012” and even then I couldn’t give up the sugary goodness! The best I did was going without chocolate for a few months.

 Here’s the goal: No sweets for a year! I can do it… I think. I figure it won’t be that bad after I get used to not having sweets, but for those first few months I will be fighting it.

Second Goal: not really related to what I was talking about before, but I also want to be vegetarian for a year. My sister and her family did that this past year and she said it was great! I also really love meat, so this won’t be easier either, but it’s about time I started eating healthier.

Grades

I’m just going to come out and say it… does anyone else think that college is crazy hard? And by this I mean in comparison to high school. In high school I would always put my homework off until the night before (or even the class period before) and I always seemed to slip by. It’s not that I didn’t pull my weight in high school, I think I did, but I also think that people had a lot lower of expectation. In high school I feel like I got baby-sitted, and now I’m expected to be responsible… WHAT?! In all seriousness though, college has been a great growing experience for me. I used to rely on others for everything: to remind me to do my homework, to cook, and especially to do my laundry! Oh man I miss not doing laundry. Growing up is hard, but it’s worth it. I like this more independent version of me.

So, in order to prove how responsible I am, I am adding to my bucket list a goal to get a 4.0 GPA (one semester). I didn’t do half-bad my first semester here, but I know I can push myself harder. Ideally I would like to have a lot of semesters with straight A’s but let’s start small eh? 

FHE scavenger hunt

Yesterday for Family Home Evening my “family” and I did a scavenger hunt, and it was a blast. We had to do everything from shoot a 3 pointer on the basketball court to giving out numerous “high-fives” in order to win. As we were going to different apartments in our ward I realized how many people I didn’t know and who didn’t know me, and that made me realize something. It made me realize how important it is to put yourself out there and to be kind. I am a very naturally shy person, and I usually have to psych myself up before I will talk to someone new, but when I put myself out there last night, people were very open and kind to me. I met several new people in my ward and felt great afterwards. And I don’t know if you can necessarily call this “bucket list worthy”, but I have made a personal goal with myself to be friendlier. I am going to start out small with something like giving one compliment a day and by just smiling at people. Eventually I hope I will be able to make friends wherever I am and be able to comfortably chat with anyone J

You're kidding right?

"When I'm not working, I am the laziest person. I can literally lie on a couch and watch television for 15 hours. I hate people who say 'Oh, I’m addicted to working out', I just want to punch those people in the face." -Jennifer Lawrence

Maybe I’m the only one that can relate to this statement, but come on, how can you be addicted to RUNNING?! You know what I’m addicted to? Cookie dough. I think that’s more normal.

If you know anything about me you know that I dread exercise almost as much as I love food, which is a very bad combination. But almost a year ago I did something that I thought I would never be able to do— I completed a half marathon. It’s true that I was slow and that I did have to stop to walk multiple times, but the point is I did it.

And no matter how much I hated it, that experience taught me an important lesson. It taught me that hard work can break the boundaries we put on ourselves. I’ve always told myself that I’m not an athlete, and whenever someone tried to convince me to go running or join track I told them “it wasn’t my thing.” I may not be what you would stereotypically label as an athlete, but when I worked hard I did something that I said I couldn’t do countless times.

Next item on the bucket list? Run a full marathon.

I hope they call me on a mission

 I hope they call me on a mission, when I have grown a foot or two…. Or when I turn 19 J

With the recent announcement that women can now serve a mission at the age of 19 (instead of 21) I have added something new to my bucket list! I am excited to say that I have officially started my paperwork for serving a full-time mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and I can’t wait to go. It has been a crazy ride for me ever since President Monson got up in the last General Conference and changed the face of missionary work. I never thought a mission was for me before that day, but ever since then I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I went back and forth for a long time, and I didn’t want to make my decision right when I heard the announcement because I didn’t want to get caught up in the excitement and make the wrong decision.  But after much thought and prayer I have finally decided there is no better place I could be next fall than serving my Heavenly Father wherever he sees fit. I love the Gospel and I can’t wait to share that love with others!